Learn Russian Now! just follow along
I’m here for exactly one reason: To help you learn Russian now. We’re not waiting, you and I. We’re…
Huh? Oh, I meant, “Now!” Seechas is the Russian word for now, though it oddly also means, “In a moment!” which is the very opposite of now. In any case, try to work it into your speech. Like, “I’ve got to head out right seechas or I’ll miss my flight.”
I usually teach basic Russian words this way, sneaking them into English sentences, but let’s have a little fun. I want to show you a useful Russian curse word. It’s not so bad that your babushka will smack you for using it…
but it comes in handy when things go bad. For example, if you miss your flight, you might yell out, “Yo my yo!” (Which could be written “yo mai yo.”)
“Yo my yo! I forgot my keys at the office!”
Stub your toe? “Yo my yo!” Anyway, keep your eyes open for that mildly profane phrase in the following story:
So, I was on the beach here in Sevastopol, Ukraine. Out of nowhere, this incredibly krasivaya blond girl lays her towel next to mine. I mean, she was a perfect 10, one of the most krasivaya girls I’ve ever seen here…or anywhere, for that matter. My heart starts racing, and I haven’t even said anything yet. I’d brought a six-pack of Heineken, because I was expecting my good droog Michael to show up, so I took a bottle and turned to the krasivaya blond, “Hi. Say, want a pivo?” and offered her the Heineken.
“Da, spasibo!” she said, with a big, friendly ulibka!
I stuck out my rooka, palm up: “That’ll be five dollars, pozhaluista.”
She laughed, knowing I was just joking. And there it was again, that broad, krasivaya ulibka on her face. She puts the pivo down on the sand and rifles through her beach bag. “Yo my yo!” she yells, out. “I left my wallet at home! I don’t even have money for the marshrutka ride home.”
“Well, I bet if you flash your krasivaya ulibka at the marshrutka driver, he’ll let you ride for free.”
This is a true story, by the way. What happened next is I got her mahbilni, and zvonil her that same night! What a great day at the plyazh!